Friday, April 15, 2011
Lily Bear & TeaRat Miniatures by Penny @ Angelsdoor
Dear Friends at Angelsdoor,
I am writing to thank you for two phenomenal things. First, for the invitation to join Bebe's adventures and luau party this coming summer at...what was it you called it?...HI-WHY-HEE? Never heard of it. Must be somewhere beyond Witsend, perhaps even beyond Nowhere. But I'm sure we'll all have a smashing time.
Second, for a delightful new friend: Lily Bear. We first met Lily at this terribly busy place, I assume located on some the coast, called "E Bay". We are happy to inform you that she arrived from her long journey (by mail courier of all things) with her wits intact. (How long she will keep them at Witsend is another matter. Ha, ha.). Lily is a sheer delight that has brought much joy and laughter to our beloved home.
My dear friend TeaRat, has taken quite a shine to Lily. Here he is (below) with Lily in front of our Tea House, ubiquitous tea cup in hand, in his usual humble pose.
The only thing, as I informed you in an earlier letter, is that Lily is so cute (TeaRat says that she has "a massive cute factor") that I am having to lift up his self esteem every few minutes with words like: "You look smashing old boy," and "God broke the rat mold when he made you."
Otherwise, we are all well and happy here. We look forward to the summer adventures in HI-WHY-HEE. (Tea looks forward to it because he has a crush on Bebe, but don't let him know that I told you.) With love and admiration we remain,
Your devoted friends,
Rattus Scribus & TeaRat
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
It was a lovely spring morning. The ground slightly damp. The air slightly chill. A dog slightly fast. A rat slightly out of breath.
Tea Rat was walking his dog, Balzac (or was Balzac walking Tea Rat?), in the beautiful environs surrounding the cottage, Witsend. All at once, Balzac froze in his tracks, his ears peaked, a slight "Grrrr" escaping his dog lips.
"What is it boy?" said Tea Rat.
Suddenly, a voice came from the trees above them and to the left of the path they were on:
"The cheek of it!" said a highly shrill and gargling voice.
Tea Rat: "Shush, boy. Wh...who...who's there? I've got a dog with me. A trained killer."
To be continued.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Rattus: I say, old bean, have you decided on your resolutions for the New Year?
Tea Rat: I certainly have? Have you?
Rattus: Indubitably. Why don't we each share some of our resolutions? You start.
Tea Rat: Very well, I resolve to buy a pair of new red boots. (I lost my old ones in the balloon crash, remember?)
Rattus: Hold on, son. That's not a resolution. That's just shopping. I don't think you understand the concept. Resolutions for a new year deal with a determination to a personal goal.
Tea Rat: New boots ARE a personal goal.
Rattus: No, no. I mean resolution as in a commitment to a change in lifestyle that is for the better.
Tea Rat: Very well. Let me rephrase: I resolve to buy a new pair of red boots, so that I may improve my lifestyle for the better.
Rattus: Sometimes talking to you, I just see red.
Tea Rat: Is it shaped like boots?
Rattus: Arrgh! New Year's resolutions have to do with the improvement of the self, not one's wardrobe.
Tea Rat: I don't know, but I think a change in wardrobe can do wonders for the self. An observation I commend to you, by the way.
Rattus: What do you mean?
Tea Rat: You wear that jacket with the devotion of a medieval relic. When was the last time you bought a new one?
Rattus: What does that have to do with anything?
Tea Rat: I think Saint Pignatius wore that thing.
Rattus: Maybe it's because I value what's on the inside, and I don't care about outward appearance.
Tea Rat: Well, no one has more conviction than you, old friend.
Rattus: Well, OLD FRIEND, let me try and explain it one more time. New Year's Resolutions have roots in both secular as well as religious traditions. But both have to do with reflecting on what one has heretofore been doing wrong, and then making up one's mind to improve by doing things such as to ask forgiveness of someone, correct wrongs done, and improve one's well-being or the well-being of others.
Tea Rat: The things you know, Rattus. Astounding. I think I understand now.
Rattus: Wonderful. So what is your New Year's resolution.
Tea Rat: I realize now that it was wrong to deny myself a new pair of red boots for so long. But I forgive myself and resolve to improve my well-being at the earliest opportunity. Indeed, if my well-being would be improved upon the purchase of one pair of red boots, I see no reason why two pair would not improve my well-being all the more. Thank you, dear fellow, for helping me to see the light. So, what is your New Year's resolution?
Rattus: A new jacket.
Tea Rat: Improving our well-being, are we?
Rattus: You drive.
All characters (Rattus Scribus, Tea Rat, St. Pignatius), text, and drawings are the copyright© of Ruben Rivera.
Thursday, December 9, 2010
"Ode to A Cheese Wedge"
By Rattus Scribus© 9 Dec 2010
Performed by Tea Rat
I think that naught on earth can please,
so much as a glorious wedge of cheese.
Naught girlish skip nor boyish romp,
can scarce compare with just one chomp,
of a-ged Cheddar's sharp report,
or Cottenham Stilton, brute forte.
Baked French Brie for mild of heart.
Dutchman's Edam, slightly tart.
Italian Livarno, cow or goat.
German Limburger, load the boat.
Queso de Cabra from fabled Seville.
Alouette de Paris, I remember her still.
Queijo Canastra de Minas Gerais.
Queso Blanco Mexicano on beans and rice.
Swedish Bjursholm from the milk of three Moose:
Juna, Haelga, and Gullan, but the price, an abuse.
Oh, so many cheeses, but so little time,
to evangelize the world to cheeses sublime.
Preach, “Blessed are the Cheesemakers” at home and abroad.
For cheese was inspired directly by God.
From towering mountain to bottomless sea,
tell every creature the power of cheese.
Whilst living on earth till to heaven transferred,
nothing compareth to processing curd.
Should the whole world forsake its call, faith and pledge,
I commit unto death, oh thee my cheese wedge.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
I planted one and pulled the weeds.
It sprouted roots and a big, long vine.
A pumpkin grew; I called it mine.
The pumpkin was quite round and fat.
(I really am quite proud of that.)
But there is something I'll admit
That has me worried just a bit.
I ate the other seed, you see.
Now will it grow inside of me?
Drawing by R. Rivera©
Monday, September 27, 2010
27 Sept 2010
Rattus Scribus' last post (here) inspired his dear friend Tea Rat to take up the cape to fight for oppressed rats everywhere. But Tea Rat's self perception is, shall we say, a bit hyperbolic.